7 Myths About Islam

7 Myths About Islam

Posted using ShareThis

Mengwelune, Lydia
1886 to 1966 

A woman of God among pagan men.

I stumbled upon this  amazing story while doing some reading on early missionary work in Africa, I was so moved that I decided to share this with you. 

Of all the Christians that came from the work of the Basel Mission to the Bamoun region (1906-1915) during the German colonial period, as well as from the activity of the French Evangelical Mission Society of Paris there (1917-1957), Lydia Mengwelune has not gone unnoticed by Christian authors. For more than any other believer from this same region, her life and her conversion to the Christian faith have been brought to light through the writings of several missionaries. Even though the church at that time was filled with very respectable converts - elders, catechists, evangelists and pastors - none had their life story published in books and illustrated magazine articles, and none were featured on postcards that were in circulation in Cameroon as well as in Europe. An emblematic figure in an era that ignored the voices of women, she flashed like a lightning bolt out of that darkness with a brilliance that instantly lit up the court of King Njoya in Foumban and the Bamoun nobility of Nji Wamben. Her light burned brightly, blazing a path down country lanes and city streets as a remarkable evangelist who proclaimed the Good News of the love of God in Jesus Christ. Who was this woman?

Her Childhood

Lydia Mengwelune was the daughter of Nji Mofen and Mandu [2], and was born in the Njiyoum neighborhood of Foumban. Her father was a nobleman who carried out his duties as head of all the servants of No Pemboura, the sister of Ngungure, who was the mother of King Nsangou, who was in turn the father of King Njoya. Her mother Mandu was the cousin of King Njoya, through his paternal lineage. The name Mengwelune, which is composed of two words - Mengwen, which means "I was going", and lutne, which means "to rejoice" - had a deep impact on her character, as is often the case with names. The first impact was negative, as it concerned her life of sensuality with the king, but the second was positive, as it related to her journey in the Christian faith. Lydia was the second girl born to her mother, who gave birth to seventeen children, only one of whom was a boy! This only son was the embodiment of Nji Mofen's hopes for the lineage he would leave after his death. Lydia enjoyed a peaceful childhood, and her parents cherished her more than all their other children.

Her Youth

Lydia was a very beautiful girl. In spite of her young age, and in keeping with the customs of that time, she was given as a bride-to-be to Bankumbu, who was the warrior chief of King Njoya. Since she had not yet reached the required age for marriage, she was allowed - again, according to customary practice at that time - to enter the harem of her fiancé, and to spend her time there. Her future husband, who was beginning a campaign against the rebel Prime Minister Gbetkom-Ndombue on the front at Manga at that time, took her with him. That war went on for two years, and only ended when the cavalry of the Fula people from the lamido [3] of Banyo came to the aid of King Njoya and finally helped him to defeat the rebel and to re-establish peace.

During the return trip, Bankumbu, who had been feeding a long-standing disaffection with the king, decided to return to his native village of Mfowuon instead of regaining the capital at Foumban to resume his duties under the king. He requested that Lydia come with him, but she refused to go, on the pretext that the voyage was a very difficult one. Bankumbu went on to his home and lived there for a certain time, giving no answer to the king's many requests that he return to the capital at Foumban. He eventually undertook the trip and came back to settle peacefully in his quarters in Foumban. In the meantime, the king had discovered that he was part of a group that was plotting against him. The king had Bankumbu killed, even though he had been the general of his army for a long time, and had protected him from multiple and varied attacks. In his anger, the king not only had his general killed, but also Bankumbu's mother and brother, all on the same day. The entire town of Foumban was terribly upset by this slaughter.

Lydia had not yet overcome the pain and the fear caused by this brutal separation from her fiancé when another, even more violent tragedy struck her entire family. Her father, Nji Mofen, was accused of having killed his neighbor. The accusation came from the local Bamoun region seer who consulted the trapdoor spider, considered to have the power of revealing secrets. Upon hearing of the matter, the king pronounced a verdict without appeal and sentenced him to hang immediately, a sentence that was not in keeping with the legislation in effect at that time. As a result of that judgment and execution, Mandu, her daughter Lydia, her only son, all her other children and all of Mofen's other wives were banished, and were liable to be sold or distributed to anyone, according to the king's wishes. However, No Njapdunke, the Queen Mother of King Njoya, intervened for Mandu so that she and her children, as well as all of Nji Mofen's possessions, would come to no harm. She was able to do this in light of her parental relationship to the king. She had Nji Mofen's only son succeed him so that he would always be remembered. To comfort Mandu, No Njapdunke often asked her to come and spend time with her, in spite of all that had happened with her husband. The king, knowing that he should have intervened, came to regret his rush to judgment, but he had acted within his rights in the light of his duties. Nonetheless, wasn't Mandu a close blood relative of the king? She had to forget the past and look toward the future. No Njapdunke took care of Mandu and her children's needs. Lydia accompanied her mother when she went on her visits to the palace. Having noticed her beauty and her intelligence, No Njapdunke asked her mother if she could keep her there and see to her education, as a gift of consolation to her. Mandu gratefully accepted.

Dancer to the king

While she lived at the palace, Lydia received all the benefits of being under the good care of No Njapdunke. She was given gifts of all kinds: clothing, shoes, finery, beauty oils… and even a special diet, as she was under the protection of the Queen Mother. She wanted for nothing. She was very gracious, courteous and intelligent. Her beauty was one of the things people talked about all over the palace, whether among the king's wives, among the servants, or among the commoners who came to the palace on business. All were struck by the fresh nature of her beauty. Who did she belong to? Who would dare to approach No Njapdunke in asking for her hand? All the ambitious attention of the various young men and noblemen came up against the presence of the Queen Mother. Indeed, she was more to be feared than her own son, the king. Nonetheless, innocent as ever, Lydia Mengwelune's presence just kept on shining on everyone, much as a bright moon shines in a beautiful starry night. Since the king visited his mother Njapdunke every day, he soon saw the incredibly beautiful Lydia and began to love her in spite of the interdict against such things within the context of an extended family. Even with the primacy the king enjoyed over the institutions of the Bamoun people, he could not marry her, as he would be accused of incest. Nonetheless, he was unable to resist Lydia Mengwelune's intensely seductive beauty and intelligence. For this reason, his mother advised him to have her as a concubine. Didn't all men have concubines? Who could condemn the king for that?

In this manner, Lydia became the king's friend, much to the detriment of all his wives. The women from this latter group who had been friends to the king began to despise her. Lydia gave the king pleasure whenever he asked for it. In return, he gave her so many gifts that all his wives became jealous. Like the other royal concubines, Lydia had lodgings in a house next to the palace. Men of meager means could consort with these concubines on the sly. Lydia, however, received all the attention of the young king. He especially enjoyed conversation with her because they were approximately the same age. Since the king had befriended her, Lydia, in turn, had nurtured the courage to confront him and to bring up many of life's questions in their discussions. The king was very fond of her company.

Lydia was not only beautiful, but she also knew how to dance, and the art of the dance was very much admired by the Bamoun in those days. Her silhouette and her gestures absolutely captivated the king when she performed certain dances. To add to his pleasure, King Njoya invited her to dance a new composition with him when he wore a mask. The combination of the musical singing of the tune and the choreography of their steps as they danced together allowed King Njoya and Lydia to reach the high point of their sensual relationship. At such moments, the king was unable to hide his natural desire for a young woman who was not his wife, but who was the one that gave him the emotional satisfaction he needed. As they danced, cries of appreciation came from the crowd in Bamoun: "A pu tetune!" ("That's very good!").

Their appreciative cries were being called out for the last time, although neither party was aware of it at the time. A succession of events was occurring in the kingdom, events that were going to affect every last person. Lydia Mengwelune, dancer to the king, was going to leave him forever and find true joy in the things of the kingdom of God. She was going to leave the pleasures she enjoyed with King Njoya in order to embrace the joy of Jesus Christ, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

A Freed Servant of Jesus Christ

While she lived at the palace, which was the epicenter of all the royal institutions, and the place where all problems concerning the Bamoun people were dealt with, Lydia had a privileged position: she was King Njoya's principal conversation partner. He told her about many events, and often discussed them with her. They had spoken at length about the help of the Fula cavalry that had come from the Banyo chief during the insurrection of Prime Minister Gbetkom-Ndombue, and also about the whites who had arrived with their soldiers, as well as about other white merchants that came later. In fact, the Germans wanted to collaborate with King Njoya, and they came to him with an offer of friendship from their king. An employee of one of these merchants named Samé had spoken about the God who had sent his son to save the world. Having heard these strange stories, King Njoya called the man and made serious inquiries about this message. He also had the stories transcribed into the Shumom language. He was so interested in knowing about this God that he offered Samé money so that he could stay and teach the Bamoun people. He declined the offer however, and said that messengers from God would come one day. Samé went on his way, and no-one knows where he came from.

Later on, two young Bamoun named Mah and Nguin, who had gone to Bali to visit family, stayed on there for schooling. In addition to learning how to write, they learned the wonderful stories of the Word of God. When they returned to Foumban, they told their family about what they had learned, and the stories were circulated until they reached the king. Having listened to these young people and having been touched by hearing these stories that were unknown among his people, the king sent the pair back to Bali to ask the white people if they would also come and teach these stories to the Bamoun.

On April 10, 1906, a German pastor from the Basel Mission named Martin Gohring arrived in Foumban, in answer to the king's request. The excitement this caused could be felt in the whole city. King Njoya gave them the highest hill in the city, at Njisse. He quickly had lodgings and a school built, as well as the Nda Nyinyi (the house of God), the church, built in the central marketplace. The king himself listened attentively to the sermons. He also told his wives and his daughters to attend the meetings regularly. Rhein-Wuhrmann explains what happened next:
Mengwelune, the king's friend, went also. More than all the other women, she was moved by what she heard. Shortly thereafter, the king sensed that a great change was taking place in the young woman's heart. She didn't seek his presence as often as before. She could often be seen alone, lost in her thoughts, crying. She never missed a worship service, but little by little, she was moving away from the king.

One day she appeared before the king and humbly but firmly told him: "I have been going to the worship service of the Christians every day that they call Sunday. They say many good things, and their words have entered my heart. Their God says: 'Happy are those who have a pure heart,' but I do not have a pure heart, and I have done much wrong. The king's wives hate me, and they are right to do so. I can no longer be the king's friend. May he give me away in marriage to a good man!"

This came as a cruel blow to King Njoya. He begged and pleaded with Lydia, and gave her many presents and caresses, but nothing could change her mind. The king's efforts were of no account to the young lady because her very soul was in torment about the new message that she had heard. The king came to believe that he had not lost the battle, and that the change that had come about in the life of his friend was only the passing fancy of a woman. He was all the more astonished and disappointed when Lydia told him that she wanted to become a Christian and that she was now taking catechism classes that would prepare her for baptism. [4]
Light comes to Nji Wamben

Lydia Mengwelune became the 31st wife of Nji Wamben, a nobleman who was in the king's service. She was a fine present, and her husband hoped that she would help him get closer to the king in light of his royal ancestry and his prior history with the king. Nji Wamben showered her with presents and gave her the highest standing among all his wives. He loved to have her near him when he was not on duty in the court because her beauty, her intelligence and her other qualities contributed to the increased respect he enjoyed. He knew that his wife had adopted the Christian faith, and he allowed her to attend the worship services even though he did not attend himself. He believed that in time, her manner of thinking would fade away.

In the meantime, Lydia was a catechist in the school in Njisse, and she was growing rapidly in the faith. The more she understood, the more she allowed older practices that were not in keeping with the Word of God to fall away: making sacrifices to the dead, and the killing of harmless chameleons that according to Bamoun beliefs were thought to be messengers of death. She became unafraid of the power of the trapdoor spider, a belief that had brought about the death of her father. She no longer feared spirits, witchdoctors, and the evil eye. God was now in charge of her life. Her contemporaries and those who were baptized with her recount that her faith and her love were both quite vibrant. While she was still very young and living with her mother, she had had a dream that she only understood the meaning of now that she was living as a Christian.

All the progress in her spiritual life and the knowledge she had gained from the catechism led her to be among the first 80 Bamoun candidates for baptism, out of a class of 166. It was at this time that she was given the baptismal name of Lydia, because she also could say, "The Lord has opened my heart." She was baptized Lydia Mengwelune on December 25, 1909, by Pastor Martin Gohring.

Persecution and Witness

Lydia's husband, Nji Wamben, had become exasperated by the commitment that his wife was making to the Christian faith. He pleaded with her serenely, saying, "Please don't cause me this grief and shame; do not leave aside the customs of your fathers." [5] King Njoya began to incite Nji Wamben to persecute his wife. He began to treat his faithful wife cruelly, and progressed from reproaches and humiliations to threats and actual physical torture. He had Lydia removed from her beautiful house and gave her a servant's hut to live in. The other wives made fun of her and treated her with contempt. Her right to receive help from the slaves was taken away, and her husband no longer paid any attention to her except to call her so that he could vent his anger at her over anything that happened that might be her fault. He even beat her so violently that she was left with permanent scars. Lydia had always been a pampered child and had never been treated in such a terrible way.

Lydia shouldered her trials just as she carried her cross, finding comfort and consolation in the Word of God. In time however, her living conditions became unbearable. She went to Ms. Rhein-Wuhrmann, one of the missionaries there, and said, "Take me as your servant girl. I cannot stand to live with my husband any longer." [6] This missionary lady told her to honor her Christian faith in the circumstances she was in, and that Jesus would help her more than she could help herself. She also went to speak with Lydia's husband, Nji Wamben, and found him to be quite embarrassed by the fact that he loved his wife, but hated Christianity. Pressured by other noblemen to do so, he continued to mistreat Lydia. Ms. Wuhrmann wrote: "All of us at the mission felt great pity for Lydia because we were powerless witnesses to her situation, and she was suffering terribly." [7]

During the First World War (1914-1918), the German missionaries left Foumban in chains, escorted by the English. Lydia lost the help she had found in Ms. Rhein-Wuhrmann, her advisor and friend. She cried out, "I am like an orphan now, an orphan!" "God is your Father, dear Lydia, and Jesus your advisor," answered her dear friend. With that exchange, Ms. Rhein-Wuhrmann and Lydia, two disciples of Christ, were separated. [8]

The two years that followed the missionaries' departure (1916-1918), were increasingly difficult for the small Christian community in Foumban, as one persecution followed another. King Njoya outlawed the practice of the Christian faith in his kingdom and converted to Islam. He asked that all his subjects become Muslim, just as he had. Muslim husbands like Nji Wamben and Nji Mama - the spouse of Shachembe Marguerite, a friend of Lydia's - who held high positions in the royal court, found themselves forced to persecute their Christian wives in order to keep favor with the king. On several occasions, churches were attacked by these very officials, who had their wives taken away in a very violent manner. On another occasion, the king's own soldiers carried out the orders. In spite of her own suffering, Lydia sought out the persecuted and gave them strength and courage. She braved humiliation in her own milieu, and her life was her confession of faith. Through her witness, the other wives of her husband came to faith in Jesus Christ.

In Alexandra Loumpet-Galitzine's book, Njoya and the Bamoun Kingdom, the author of Lydia's biography writes:
Her faith and her love for the savior were very much alive. She was an example to the other wives. Lydia loved her husband and didn't stand for any disobedience on the part of the other wives. Her firm Christian character left the other wives without excuse. When she returned from worship, she gathered all her fellow wives around her and spoke to them about the Christ who died for the sins of the whole world… She also dispensed good advice to all the people who worked for the chief. This chief, who was a Muslim, saw their good behavior and the good example they set, and allowed everyone to go to the Christian meetings. On Sunday, a great number of men and women could be seen going to church, led there by this brave disciple of the Lord. [9] Such eyewitness accounts came from others as well, not only from Christians. Nji Wamben, her husband, also saw the good influence that Lydia had on his affairs, because a Christian spirit came to influence every aspect of the lives of his wives, who were also mothers and housekeepers. His behavior towards his Christian wife Lydia changed, and he allowed his other wives to attend the pre-baptismal catechism. One day he told Ms. Wuhrmann, "Ever since my wives became Christian or started to attend the teaching that leads to baptism, life in my house has changed a lot. I don't hear quarreling any more, only joyful singing, and the work gets done peaceably and well. Basically, everything is better than it used to be." [10]
That is how Lydia, who was a persecuted Christian wife, changed the outlook and the beliefs of her husband Nji Wamben, his wives, their children and their servants. They had formerly held to traditional religion, then they became Muslim, and finally, thanks to the light of Christ, they became Christians.

Elder in the Church

The German missionaries had not organized the church by setting up the ministry of deacon, elder and evangelist, much less that of pastor. They had given themselves to the preparation of disciples and overseers, or catechists, to go out and preach and teach. Later, the Paris Mission settled in that region, having sent Pastor Elie Allégret, who first visited Foumban in 1917. After that first visit, he sent a Douala man named Max Mpacko there, the first teacher to arrive with a formal education. It was this bright man who helped the church - a church that had emerged victoriously from persecution - to get organized by choosing elders. A total of eight elders were chosen from a community of 300 souls. Four men and four women - Lydia was one of them - were chosen, and Lydia was certainly chosen because of her witness. Ms. Wuhrmann writes: "And what a memorable day it was when the most influential Christians: Mose Yeyap, Josué Muishe, Jean Njikam and others called Lydia to sit with them as a church elder! A woman, seated in the council of men! With the same voting rights, no less! A woman, such a despised creature among the pagans! It was unbelievable! But these community leaders had exercised good judgment and had made a good choice." 11]

As an elder, Lydia was a superb teacher in the Girls School in Njisse, where she was assistant to Ms. Wuhrmann. But even more, whether at home or elsewhere, she was always invested in good works and in caring for the destitute.

Teacher in the Girls School

Taking advantage of her Swiss nationality, Ms. Wuhrmann returned to Foumban in the service of the Paris Mission on the 10th of July, 1920, after the war. She reorganized the school that until then had been run by Paolo Pepuere, one of King Njoya's brothers. Since the non-Christian husbands did not want a man teaching their wives, the burden on Ms. Wuhrmann increased dramatically: enrollment quadrupled, going from 80 students to 320. She wrote: "A very mixed group pressed in all around me during the lessons: old women who were tired and worn out, young women full of life, pretty women from the king's court, and the very poor, who had been raised in miserable slave huts. Virtually all of them wanted to have contact with Jesus… I did not have enough time to take care of all of these women outside of the lesson time, even though I wished that I could. For hours at a time, my dear Lydia, who was one of the elders in the church, filled in for me." [12]

As the various written testimonies of missionaries at the time attest, Lydia devotedly carried out her work. Charles Maître, in commentary written to supplement 85 images showing the work in Cameroon from 1924 to 1925, said this about image number 70: "Lydia, one of our brave Christians. You can see the hairstyle, the tattoos, the pierced ear, the two 3-Mark coins, but what you can't see is the faithfulness and devotion of this brave woman who is now overseer of the Girls School." [13] When Ms. Wuhrmann left Foumban after her second missionary term, she put all the catechetical teaching in Lydia's hands. In her book, Portraits of Women in Cameroon, published in 1931, she mentions the fact that Lydia had assumed that task. For a long time, Lydia continued to teach the faith to generations of Bamoun Christian women whose lives were transformed, and who influenced their marriages, their children, and their society.

Itinerant Evangelist

Lydia was also chosen as an elder because she exercised her gift for evangelization. Jean Njimonia writes: "She became an elder because she loved to serve. The church has had women elders and still has them, but Lydia was an elder par excellence. She visits our neighborhood churches and gives good counsel to catechists and Christians alike. She knows how to comfort brothers who are afflicted. She feeds orphaned children that she has taken in of her own free will. She has taught many catechists' wives. Ms. Rhein-Wuhrmann loves her more than anything else. She calls her 'friend' and it is quite truly so." [14]

That witness of a native missionary and the witness of other missionaries show that Lydia was committed to preaching the Good News, not only in her own home and her local church, but beyond. She had a broad view of the ministry entrusted to her. As the Lord Jesus said: "To whom much is given, much will be required." Because Lydia had received much from the Lord, she gave back enough of what she had gotten, and even more.

Lydia did not only preach, as is often the case with evangelists. What she taught was made real through her actions as well. She cared for sick Christians and catechists alike, giving them encouragement. She received women who had been persecuted and chased from their homes because of their faith, and saw to their protection. At times, there were four young women living in her house, and sometimes more. If someone in the church had left town because of persecution or had been temporarily put out of the community of faith because of sin, Lydia had no peace until she went out and found that person. Sometimes, she even brought them home with her. In light of her social standing, she was not allowed to walk the paths of neighboring villages alone, so Nji Wamben gave her some slaves, and they would always go with her.

Lydia's zeal for evangelism makes it clear that her faith was not simply a question of vocation. She belonged so totally to her Lord that everything she did was of an evangelistic nature. Lydia's faith was active in service and was evident in the loving things she did for others, all to the greater glory of God.

The Meaning of Jesus Christ in Her Life

Lydia Mengwelune was a woman whose faith in Jesus Christ could be described as fervent. She had only learned to read and write in her native language, which was Bamoun. She had received no schooling in French or in German because she was already an adult by the time a school opened in Foumban. She had no Bible School training in evangelism. However, changed through her in-depth study of the Bible and her love for Jesus, she became one of the great figures of the Christian faith in the Bamoun region and in Cameroon, even in Africa one could say, and even the whole world.

Who was Jesus to this woman who committed herself body and soul to serve Him, even at the risk of her life? What follows is one of the last accounts of her beautiful profession of faith in Christ:
In 1924, as the 14th of July grew near, the king called his chamberlain and told him: 'Talk to your wife, Mengwelune, and tell her to dance for the white people's holiday.' Nji Wamben told me himself that his answer to the king was: "My King knows very well that Mengwelune is a Christian and that Christians do not dance. How can I tell her to do what the king commands?" So Njoya sent two messengers to plead with her, that she might do the king's bidding. He also promised her goats, palm oil, corn, peanuts, and the most beautifully made scarf from the royal looms. Lydia laughed when she received the message, thinking that it must be a joke. A little later, she realized that it was a serious proposition. This was her answer: "Go and tell the king that Mengwelune needs her feet and her hands, as well as her body and her heart, for her service to God." The king did not insist any further. Lydia had a few laughs over that pretentious request and was able to show in that incident how foreign all those things were to her now, all those things that used to make her so happy. [15]
Through such incidents, Lydia was able to help the king and her husband Nji wamben - two men who were friends, but who had persecuted her - to understand who Jesus Christ was for her. By staying faithful to Jesus, she shared the Gospel with her husband - he who had humiliated and mistreated her - and he eventually came to faith in Christ. An anonymous source once cried out: "Is there anyone among all the missionaries and all the Christians who has not praised Lydia for her great faith and for her love in the service of God? She is the only native Christian woman whose name is known both here and in Europe, as well as in America and everywhere else. May our Lord keep sending such women elders to his poor Bamoun church! What a great native Christian!" [16]

The memory of Lydia Mengwelune is still very much alive, especially in Foumban, but also in the whole Bamoun region. Generations of Christians have been born and have multiplied through the witness of this faithful disciple. The church in the Bamoun region could count 35 places of worship in 1931, and it grew into two Synods: North Noun (principal center at Foumban), and South Noun (principal center at Foumbot). The church in Foumban is proud to have the first mega-church of Cameroon: called "Ndaambassie," it seats more than 14,000 people. Such is the fruit borne by Lydia Mengwelune, who has gone on to rejoice with Her Lord in His Kingdom. [17]

Robert Adamou Pindzié



Dear friend, my mother, do you think of me and do you have sleepless nights as I do because of you? Oh, I know that often you can't sleep when you think of me. I want to thank you for having written the story of my life in a book. If everything is well with me in Foumban, it is thanks to you; if people love me and say good things about me, you are the reason why that is so. I have been very sick and my body was broken. I thought I was going to die (rheumatoid arthritis); now however, I am well again. (News of several people follows…) I, who am your child, greet you warmly.

Lydia Mengwelune
Bibliography:

Francis Grob, Témoins Camerounais de l'Evangile (les Origines de l'Eglise Evangélique) [Cameroonian Witnesses to the Gospel (The Origins of the Evangelical Church)] (Yaoundé : Editions CLE, 1967).
Alexandra Loumpet-Galitzine, Njoya et le royaume Bamoun. Les archives de la Société des Missions Evangéliques de Paris, [Njoya and the Bamoun Kingdom. Archives of the Paris Evangelical Missions Society] (Paris : Karthala Editions, 2006).
Joseph Mfochive, Moise Lamere, Rodolphe Peshandon, Quatre vingt ans de christianisme en pays bamoun [Eighty Years of Christianity in the Bamoun Region] (Foumban, 1986).
Henri Nicod, La Danseuse du roi [Dancer to the king] (Neuchâtel : Delachaux and Niestle, 1950).
Anna Rhein-Wuhrmann, Fumban die Stadt auf dem Schutte, Arbeitbund Ernte im Missiondienst in Kamerun (Basel: Basler Missionsbuchhandlung GmbH, 1948).
-------, Au Cameroon, Portraits de Femmes [Portraits of Women in Cameroon] translated from the German by Ms. E. Lack (Paris: Société des Missions Evangéliques, 1931).
Jap Van Slageren, Les origines de l'église Evangélique au Cameroun. Missions et christianisme autochtone [The Origins of the Evangelical Church in Cameroon. Missions and Native Christianity] (Leiden: E.J. Brill, 1972).


This article, received in 2008, was researched and written by Rev. Robert Adamou Pindzié, 2007-2008 Project Luke Fellow. Rev. Pindzié is a professor in the Faculté de Théologie Evangélique du Cameroun [Evangelical Seminary of Cameroon] in Yaoundé.

He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy. Proverbs 29:1

...a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God.

Psalm 78:8

ALMIGHTY and most merciful Father; We have erred, and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep. We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts. We have offended against thy holy laws. We have left undone those things which we ought to have done; And we have done those things which we ought not to have done; And there is no health in us. But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us, miserable offenders. Spare thou those, O God, who confess their faults. Restore thou those who are penitent; According to thy promises declared unto mankind In Christ Jesus our Lord. And grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake; That we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life, To the glory of thy holy Name. Amen.

Man that is born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble.
JOB: 14:1

Pascal

Faites. mon Dieu, que dans une uniformité toujours égale je reçoive toute sorte d'événements, puisque nous ne savons ce que nous devons demander. "Bring it to pass, my God, that I accept every sort of occurrence in an ever level peace of spirit, since we do not know what it is that we should ask for."

La maladie principale de l'homme est la curiosité inquiète des choses qu'il ne peut savoir; et il ne lui est pas si mauvais d'être dans l'erreur, que dans cette curiosité inutile. "What ails men primarily is a giddy curiosity about things that they cannot possibly know; they are not even harmed so much by being in error as by being in this state of useless curiosity."

Il faut qu'on n'en puisse dire, ni: "Il est mathématicien", ni "prédicateur", ni "éloquent", mais "il est honnête homme". Cette qualité universelle me plaît seule. "One really ought to be able to say of a man, not 'There goes a mathematician'--or 'preacher' or 'eloquent speaker'--but 'There's an honest man.' This universal quality alone is what appeals to me."

La science des choses extérieures ne me consolera pas de l'ignorance de la morale, au temps d'affliction; mais la science des moeurs me consolera toujours de l'ignorance des sciences extérieures. "Knowledge of external things will not console me over my ignorance of moral facts in times of affliction, but knowledge of the moral way will always console me over my ignorance of the external sciences."

Car enfin, qu'est-ce que l'homme dans la nature? Un néant à l'égard de l'infini, un tout à l'égard du néant, un milieu entre rien et tout. Infiniment éloigné de comprendre les extrêmes, la fin des choses et leur principe sont pour lui invinciblement cachés dans un secret impénétrable, également incapable de voir le néant d'où il est tiré, et l'infini où il est englouti.


ENGRIIISHHH at least some of it
"For at last, what is man in his natural state? A void with regard to infinity, a totality with regard to the void, a midway between nothing and everything. Infinitely far from understanding the extremes, the end of things and their beginning are for him invincibly hidden in an impenetrable secret. He is equally incapable of seeing the void from which he has been lifted and the infinite in which he is enveloped."

To THEE the Champion leader O conqueror of Death Glorious GOD! We give thanks and praise O lion of Judah King of kings. YOU will wipe out all your enemies, all the mockers, all the dogs. The grave could not contain your Majesty you are the great Potentate of all worlds, all time, and all things. You are the great I AM, La Raison d'être. JESUS SON of GOD!

We glorify your name! we worship you! Jesus there is none like you!

Now this is Funny!


I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do? '

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

Her parents beamed.

'Wow...what a worthy goal', I told her. 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party'.

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

Author unknown

Romains 1:18-21

18La colère de Dieu se révèle du ciel contre toute impiété et toute injustice des hommes qui retiennent injustement la vérité captive,

19car ce qu'on peut connaître de Dieu est manifeste pour eux, Dieu le leur ayant fait connaître.

20En effet, les perfections invisibles de Dieu, sa puissance éternelle et sa divinité, se voient comme à l'oeil, depuis la création du monde, quand on les considère dans ses ouvrages. Ils sont donc inexcusables,

21puisque ayant connu Dieu, ils ne l'ont point glorifié comme Dieu, et ne lui ont point rendu grâces; mais ils se sont égarés dans leurs pensées, et leur coeur sans intelligence a été plongé dans les ténèbres.

The One Hundred Forty Sixth Psalm
Lauda, anima mea.

PRAISE the LORD, O my soul: while I live, will I praise the LORD; * yea, as long as I have any being, I will sing praises unto my God.

O put not your trust in princes, nor in any child of man; * for there is no help in them.

For when the breath of man goeth forth, he shall turn again to his earth, * and then all his thoughts perish.

Blessed is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, * and whose hope is in the LORD his God:

Who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that therein is; * who keepeth his promise for ever;

Who helpeth them to right that suffer wrong; * who feedeth the hungry.

The LORD looseth men out of prison; * the LORD giveth sight to the blind.

The LORD helpeth them that are fallen; * the LORD careth for the righteous.

The LORD careth for the strangers; he defendeth the fatherless and widow: * as for the way of the ungodly, he turneth it upside down.

The LORD thy God, O Sion, shall be King for ever-more, * and throughout all generations.

"And even if we did have only Christians in our midst, if we expelled every non-Christian from the United States of America, whose Christianity would we teach in the schools? Would we go with James Dobson's, or Al Sharpton's? Which passages of Scripture should guide our public policy? Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is ok and that eating shellfish is abomination? How about Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount - a passage that is so radical that it's doubtful that our own Defense Department would survive its application? So before we get carried away, let's read our bibles. Folks haven't been reading their bibles." [cut and paste from the published text of Obama's speech]

An Akathist in Praise of God's Creation
Metropolitan Tryphon (Turkestanov)





Kontakion 1

Incorruptible Lord, your right hand controls the whole course of human life, according to the decrees of your Providence for our salvation.

We give you thanks for all your blessings, known and unknown:
for our earthly life and for the heavenly joys of your kingdom which is to come.
Henceforth extend your mercies towards us as we sing:
Glory to you, O God, from age to age!

Ikos 1

I was born a weak, defenceless child, but your angel, spreading his radiant wings, guarded my cradle. From my birth, your love has illumined my paths, and has wondrously guided me towards the light of eternity. From my first day until now, the generous gifts of your providence have been wonderfully showered upon me. I give you thanks, and with all those who have come to know you, I exclaim:

Glory to you for calling me into being.
Glory to you for spreading out before me the beauty of the universe,
Glory to you for revealing to me through heaven and earth the eternal book of wisdom,
Glory to your eternity within this fleeting world,
Glory to you for your mercies, seen and unseen,
Glory to you for every sigh of my sorrow,
Glory to you for every step in my life’s journey, for every moment of joy,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 2

O Lord, how lovely it is to be your guest:
Breeze full of scent; mountains reaching to the skies;
Waters like a boundless mirror,
Reflecting the sun’s golden rays and the scudding clouds.
All nature murmurs mysteriously, breathing depths of tenderness,
Birds and beasts bear the imprint of your love,
Blessed are you, mother earth, in your fleeting loveliness,
Which wakens our yearning for happiness that will last for ever
In the land where, amid beauty that grows not old,
Rings out the cry: Alleluia!

Ikos 2

You brought me into this life as into an enchanted paradise. We have seen the sky, like a deep blue cup ringing with birds in the azure heights. We have listened to the soothing murmur of the forest and the sweet-sounding music of the waters. We have tasted fragrant fruit of fine flavour and sweet-scented honey. How pleasant is our stay with you on earth: it is a joy to be your guest.

Glory to you for the feast-day of life.
Glory to you for the perfume of lilies and roses,
Glory to you for each different taste of berry and fruit,
Glory to you for the sparkling silver of early morning dew,
Glory to you for each smiling, peaceful awakening,
Glory to you for eternal life in us, a messenger of heaven,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 3

In the strength of the Holy Spirit each flower gives out its scent - sweet perfume, delicate colour, beauty of the whole universe revealed in the tiniest thing. Glory and honour to God the Giver of life, who covers the fields with their carpet of flowers, crowns the plains with harvest of gold and the blue of corn-flowers, and our souls with the joy of contemplating him. O be joyful and sing to him: Alleluia!

Ikos 3

How glorious you are in the triumph of spring, when every creature awakes to new life and joyfully sings your praises with a thousand tongues: you are the source of life, the conqueror of death. By the light of the moon nightingales sing: the plains and the woods put on their wedding garment, white as snow. All the earth is your promised bride awaiting her bridegroom who does not know decay. If the grass of the field is clothed like this, how gloriously shall we be transfigured in the coming age of the resurrection: how radiant our bodies, how resplendent our souls!

Glory to you, bringing from the darkness of the earth an endless variety of colours, tastes and scents,
Glory to you for the warmth and tenderness of the world of nature,
Glory to you for surrounding us with thousands of your works,
Glory to you for the depth of your wisdom: the whole world is a living sign of it,
Glory to you: on my knees, I kiss the traces of your unseen hand,
Glory to you for setting before us the dazzling light of eternal life,
Glory to you for the hope of the unutterable, imperishable beauty of immortality,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 4

How filled with sweetness are those whose thoughts dwell on you: how life-giving your holy Word; to speak with you is more soothing than anointing with oil, sweeter than the honeycomb. Praying to you refreshes us and gives us wings: our hearts overflow with warmth; a majesty filled with wisdom permeates nature and all of life! Where you are not, there is only emptiness. Where you are, the soul is filled with abundance, and its song resounds like a torrent of life: Alleluia!

Ikos 4

When over the earth the light of the setting sun fades away, when the peace of eternal sleep, and the quiet of the declining day reign over all, I see your dwelling-place like tents filled with light, reflected in the shapes of the clouds at dusk: fiery and purple, gold and blue, they speak prophet-like of the ineffable beauty of your heavenly court, and solemnly call: let us go to the Father!

Glory to you in the quiet hour of evening,
Glory to you, covering the world with deep peace,
Glory to you for the last ray of the setting sun,
Glory to you for the rest of blissful sleep,
Glory to you for your mercy in the midst of darkness, when the whole world has parted company with us,
Glory to you for the tender emotion of a soul moved to prayer,
Glory to you for the pledge of our awakening on the day which has no evening,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 5

The storms of life do not frighten those whose hearts are ablaze with the light of your flame. Outside is the darkness of the whirlwind, the terror and howling of the storm. But in their souls reign quiet and light. Christ is there, and the heart sings: Alleluia!

Ikos 5

I see your heaven glowing with stars. How rich you are, how much light is yours! Eternity watches me by the rays of the distant stars: I am small, insignificant, but the Lord is with me, his loving hand protects me wherever I go.

Glory to you for the trouble you take for me at all times,
Glory for the people your Providence gave me to meet,
Glory to you for the love of my dear ones, the faithfulness of friends,
Glory to you for the gentleness of the animals which serve me,
Glory to you for the light-filled moments of life,
Glory to you for the radiant joy in my heart,
Glory to you for the joy of living, moving and seeing,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 6

How great and how close you are in the powerful track of the storm; how mighty your right arm in the blinding flash of the lightning; how awesome is your greatness! The voice of the Lord is over the fields and amid the rustling forests, the voice of the Lord is in the birth of thunder and of rain, the voice of the Lord is over the many waters. Praise to you in the roar of mountains ablaze. You shake the earth like a garment. You pile up to the sky the waves of the sea. Praise to you, bringing low the pride of man, bring from his heart the cry of repentance: Alleluia!

Ikos 6

When the lightening flash has lit up the feasting-hall, how feeble seems the light of the lamps. Likewise, amidst the strongest joys of my existence, you suddenly flashed in my soul. After your blinding light, how drab, dull and unreal seemed all those joys! Passionately, my soul would run after you.

Glory to you, the Goal in whom mankind’s highest dreams come true,
Glory to you, for our unquenchable thirst for communion with god,
Glory to you, making us dissatisfied with earthly things,
Glory to you, clothing us with the finest rays of your light,
Glory to you, destroying the power of the spirits of darkness, dooming all evil to destruction,
Glory to you for the joy of hearing your voice, for the happiness of your presence and of living in your love,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 7

In the wondrous blending of sounds it is your call we hear. In the harmony of many voices, stirred by the musical tones, dazzled by art’s creativeness, we learn from you the splendour of melody and song, and receive a foretaste of the coming kingdom. All true beauty draws the soul towards you in powerful invocation, and makes it sing triumphantly: Alleluia!

Ikos 7

The outpouring of the Holy Spirit enlightens the thoughts of artists, poets, and scientists. Their great minds receive from you prophetic insights into your laws, and reveal to us the depth of your creative wisdom. Unwittingly, their works speak of you; how great you are in all you have created, how great you are in man!

Glory to you, showing your unfathomable might in the laws of the universe!
Glory to you, for all nature is permeated by your laws,
Glory to you for what you have revealed to us in your goodness,
Glory to you for all that remains hidden from us in your wisdom,
Glory to you for the inventiveness of the human mind,
Glory to you for the invigorating effort of work,
Glory to you for the tongues of fire which bring inspiration,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 8

How near you are in the days of sickness; you yourself visit the sick; you bend over the sufferer’s bed: his heart speaks to you. With your peace you enlighten the soul burdened with affliction and pain: you send unexpected help. You comfort, you are Love, brining trial and salvation, and to you we sing the hymn: Alleluia!

Ikos 8

When in childhood I called upon you consciously for the first time, you heard my prayer and sacred peace came down into my soul. Then I understood that you are good; blessed are those who turn to you. Unceasingly, I started to call upon you, and now I call upon your Name:

Glory to you, satisfying my desires with good things,
Glory to you, watching over me day and night,
Glory to you, calming tribulations and bereavement with the healing flow of time,
Glory to you, no loss is irreparable when you are there, to all you give eternal life,
Glory to you, making immortal all that is lofty and good, promising to welcome the dead,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 9

Why is it that on a feastday the whole of nature mysteriously smiles? Why does a marvelous lightness then fill our hearts, to which nothing earthly can be compared? The very air in the altar and in God’s house becomes luminous. It is the breath of grace, the reflection of the glory of Mount Tabor; heaven and earth then sing this praise: Alleluia!

Ikos 9

When you inspire me to serve my neighbor, and make humility shine in my soul, one of your deep-piercing rays of light falls into my heart: it then becomes glowing, like iron in the furnace. I have seen your Face, mysterious and elusive.

Glory to you, transfiguring our lives with deeds of love,
Glory to you, making wonderfully sweet each one of your commandments,
Glory to you, clearly present in fragrant compassion,
Glory to you, sending us failures and afflictions to make us sensitive to other people’s sufferings,
Glory to you, promising high rewards for precious good deeds,
Glory to you, welcoming the impulse of our heart’s love,
Glory to you, for raising love above everything on earth or in heaven,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 10

No one can put together what has crumbled into dust, but you can heal men whose conscience has become twisted; you give the soul its former beauty, which long ago it had lost without a hope of change. With you, nothing is hopeless. You are Love. You are the creator and the redeemer of all things. We praise you with this song: Alleluia!

Ikos 10

My God, you know the fall of proud Lucifer. Save me through the power of your grace; do not allow me to fall away from you, do not allow me to doubt you. Sharpen my ear, that at every minute of my life I may hear your mysterious voice; and I call upon you, who are everywhere present.

Glory to you for providential circumstances,
Glory to you for helpful forebodings,
Glory to you for the teaching of your secret voice,
Glory to you, for revelations you give us in dreams or awake,
Glory to you for scattering our vain imaginations,
Glory to you, freeing us from the fire of passions through suffering,
Glory to you, who for our salvation, brings down proudness of heart,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 11

Beyond the icy sequence of the ages, I feel the warmth of your divine Breath, I hear the throbbing of your blood. You are already near: part of time has already gone by. I see your Cross: it is there for my sake. My spirit is but dust before your Cross: here is the triumph of love and redemption, here throughout the ages unceasingly rises the praise: Alleluia!

Ikos 11

Blessed is he who will share your mystical supper in your kingdom; but even here on earth you have granted me this blessedness. How many times, with your divine hand, you offered me your Body and your Blood; while I, a great sinner, received these sacred Gifts and felt your ineffable and supernatural love.

Glory to you for the inconceivable and life-giving power of grace,
Glory to you who established your Church as a haven of peace for a tormented world,
Glory to you for giving us new birth in the life-giving waters of baptism,
Glory to you, restoring to those who repent purity white as the unstained lily,
Glory to you, unfathomable abyss of forgiveness,
Glory to you for the cup of life, for the bread of eternal joy,
Glory to you who raise us to heaven,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 12

More than once have I seen the reflection of your glory in the faces of the dead. What beauty, what heavenly joy shown in them! How light their features, now made spiritual! This was the triumph of happiness and peace found once again; in their silence they were calling on you. At the hour of my death, illumine also my soul which calls to you: Alleluia!

Ikos 12

How poor is my praise before you! I have not heard the song of the Cherubim, a joy reserved to the souls on high, but I know the praises nature sings to you. In winter, I see how in the moonlit silence the whole earth offers you prayer, wrapped in its white mantle of snow, sparking like diamonds. I see the rising sun rejoice in you, and I hear the chorus of birds raise a hymn of glory. I hear the forest mysteriously rustling in your honour, the winds sing of your, the waters murmur and the processions of stars proclaim you as they move in harmony for ever in the depths of infinite space. What is my poor worship? All nature obeys you, I do not; yet while I live, I see your love. I long to thank you, pray to you and call upon your Name.

Glory to you, who has shown us the light,
Glory to you, who loved us with a deep unfathomable and divine love,
Glory to you, who blesses us with the light, with a host of angels and saints,
Glory to you, Father most holy, revealing us your kingdom in your commandments,
Glory to you, Holy Spirit, life-giving Sun of the world to come,
Glory to you for all things, divine and most merciful Trinity,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 13

Life-giving and most merciful Trinity, receive our thanksgiving for all your kindnesses; make us worthy of your blessings, so that, when we have brought a profit from the talents you have entrusted to us, we may enter into the eternal joy of our Lord, singing the triumphal hymn: Alleluia!

Copyright: 1934

Source: SYNDESMOS Orthodoxy and Ecology Resource Book

THEOSIS* - DEIFICATION AS THE PURPOSE OF MAN'S LIFE

By Archimandrite George
Abbott of the Holy Monastery of St. Gregorios on Mount Athos



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


DEIFICATION AS THE PURPOSE OF MAN'S LIFE
The issue of the destiny of our lives is very serious, because it concerns the most important question for man: the purpose for which we are placed on earth. If man takes a correct stance on this subject, if he finds his actual destiny, he can then take also a correct stance regarding particular questions, and those that arise in his daily life, such as his relationships with other people, his studies, profession, marriage and the bearing and upbringing of children. However, if he does not take the correct stance on this basic issue, then he will also fail in his particular goals. Because what meaning can particular goals have, if human life as a whole has no meaning?

The purpose of our life is declared already by the first chapter of the Holy Bible, when the holy author tells us that God created man ‘in His image and likeness’. We thus ascertain the great love that the Triune God has for man: He does not wish him simply to be a being with certain gifts, certain qualities, a certain superiority over the rest of creation, but He wishes him to be a god by Grace.

Externally, man seems to be just a biological being, like other living beings, the animals. Of course, he is an animal, but ‘an animal ... which can be deified through its inclination towards God’, as St. Gregory the Theologian characteristically says (Homily on the Epiphany MPG 36, 324, 13). He is the only being that stands apart from all creation; the only one which can become a god.

‘In His image’ refers to the gifts which God gave only to man, alone among all His creatures, so that he constitutes an image of God. These gifts are: a rational mind (gr. nous), conscience, and self-authority, in other words freedom, creativity, eros, and the yearning for the absolute and for God, personal self-awareness, and anything else which puts man above all other living beings in creation, and makes him a man and a personality. In other words, everything that makes man a person. These are the gifts of the ‘in His image’.

Having been formed ‘in His image’, man is called upon to be acquire the ‘in His likeness’, in other words, deification (gr. theosis). The Creator, God by nature, calls man to become a god by Grace.

The gifts of ‘in His image’ were given to man by God so that that he may ascend very high; so that through them he may attain a likeness to his God and Creator; so that he may have not an external, moral relationship, but a personal union with his Creator.

Perhaps it is very daring for us even to say or think that our purpose in life is to become gods by Grace. However, neither the Holy Bible nor the Church Fathers have hidden this from us.

Unfortunately, there exists ignorance in people outside the Church, but also in many within the Church, because they assume that the purpose of our life is, at best, simply moral improvement, to become better men, whereas this is not what is given to us by the Gospel, by the Tradition of the Church, and by the holy Fathers: that man should only improve, become more moral, more just, more self-controlled, more mindful. All these must be done, but they are not the great purpose, the final purpose for which our Maker and Creator formed man. What is this purpose? Deification (gr. theosis) – for man to be united with God, not in an external or a sentimental way, but ontologically, really.

This is how high Orthodox anthropology places humanity. If we compare the anthropologies of all the philosophies, social and psychological systems with Orthodox anthropology, we will ascertain very easily how poor these are; how they fail to respond to man’s great yearning for something very great and true in his life.

Since man is ‘called to be a god’, i.e. he was created to become a god, as long as he does not find himself on the path of deification (gr. theosis) he feels an emptiness within himself; that something is not going right; he feels no joy, even when he is trying to cover the emptiness with other activities. He may numb himself, create a fancy world, but at the same time poor, small and limited, and cage and imprison himself inside it. He may organise his life in such a way that he is never quiet, alone with himself. He can try, through noises, tension, television, radio, continuous information about this and that, as if with drugs, to forget, to not think, not worry, not remember that he is not on the right path, that he has strayed from his purpose.

In the end, however, the wretched, contemporary man finds no rest until he finds that ‘something else’, the greatest thing that actually exists in his life, the truly beautiful and creative.

Can man unite with God? Can he commune with Him? Can he become a god by Grace?

For all of you Obama supporters in the Christian community, look at who thinks highly of him by following this link.
http://www.naral.org/

Now that you have seen this explain to me how you plan on reconciling what you master thought you.

I am convinced that God will appoint whomever he wishes but it doesn't mean that he will always appoint a man that fears him.

so lets chew on this together and tell me what you think.

The sabbatical is over! i feel like not blogging for so long has turned my brain into mush.
The maelstrom of information that i daily acquire about various things in life, is driving me crazy. So here is the deal i can sit on my derrière and ponder these things all by myself or i can unload on you. I like the second option better.

Another thing i want to do is write in French occasionally for our francophone friends who probably feel left out by now, but no worries, you (English/Texan speaking peeps) will get more material.

Hear, Lord, my prayer; let not my soul faint under Thy discipline,
nor let me faint in confessing unto Thee all Thy mercies, whereby
Thou hast drawn me out of all my most evil ways, that Thou mightest
become a delight to me above all the allurements which I once pursued;
that I may most entirely love Thee, and clasp Thy hand with all my
affections, and Thou mayest yet rescue me from every temptation, even
unto the end. For lo, O Lord, my King and my God, for Thy service
be whatever useful thing my childhood learned; for Thy service, that
I speak, write, read, reckon. For Thou didst grant me Thy discipline,
while I was learning vanities; and my sin of delighting in those vanities
Thou hast forgiven. In them, indeed, I learnt many a useful word,
but these may as well be learned in things not vain; and that is the
safe path for the steps of youth.


But woe is thee, thou torrent of human custom! Who shall stand
against thee? how long shalt thou not be dried up? how long roll the
sons of Eve into that huge and hideous ocean, which even they scarcely
overpass who climb the cross? Did not I read in thee of Jove the thunderer
and the adulterer? both, doubtless, he could not be; but so the feigned
thunder might countenance and pander to real adultery. And now which
of our gowned masters lends a sober ear to one who from their own
school cries out, "These were Homer's fictions, transferring things
human to the gods; would he had brought down things divine to us!"
Yet more truly had he said, "These are indeed his fictions; but attributing
a divine nature to wicked men, that crimes might be no longer crimes,
and whoso commits them might seem to imitate not abandoned men, but
the celestial gods."

And yet, thou hellish torrent, into thee are cast the sons of
men with rich rewards, for compassing such learning; and a great solemnity
is made of it, when this is going on in the forum, within sight of
laws appointing a salary beside the scholar's payments; and thou lashest
thy rocks and roarest, "Hence words are learnt; hence eloquence; most
necessary to gain your ends, or maintain opinions." As if we should
have never known such words as "golden shower," "lap," "beguile,"
"temples of the heavens," or others in that passage, unless Terence
had brought a lewd youth upon the stage, setting up Jupiter as his
example of seduction. -
"Viewing a picture, where the tale was drawn,
Of Jove's descending in a golden shower
To Danae's lap a woman to beguile."
And then mark how he excites himself to lust as by celestial
authority: -
"And what God? Great Jove,
Who shakes heaven's highest temples with his thunder,
And I, poor mortal man, not do the same!
I did it, and with all my heart I did it."
- Not one whit more easily are the words learnt for all this vileness;
but by their means the vileness is committed with less shame. Not
that I blame the words, being, as it were, choice and precious vessels;
but that wine of error which is drunk to us in them by intoxicated
teachers; and if we, too, drink not, we are beaten, and have no sober
judge to whom we may appeal. Yet, O my God (in whose presence I now
without hurt may remember this), all this unhappily I learnt willingly
with great delight, and for this was pronounced a hopeful boy.

But why did I so much hate the Greek, which I studied as a boy?
I do not yet fully know. For the Latin I loved; not what my first
masters, but what the so-called grammarians taught me. For those first
lessons, reading, writing and arithmetic, I thought as great a burden
and penalty as any Greek. And yet whence was this too, but from the
sin and vanity of this life, because I was flesh, and a breath that
passeth away and cometh not again? For those first lessons were better
certainly, because more certain; by them I obtained, and still retain,
the power of reading what I find written, and myself writing what
I will; whereas in the others, I was forced to learn the wanderings
of one Aeneas, forgetful of my own, and to weep for dead Dido, because
she killed herself for love; the while, with dry eyes, I endured my
miserable self dying among these things, far from Thee, O God my life.

In boyhood itself, however (so much less dreaded for me than
youth), I loved not study, and hated to be forced to it. Yet I was
forced; and this was well done towards me, but I did not well; for,
unless forced, I had not learnt. But no one doth well against his
will, even though what he doth, be well. Yet neither did they well
who forced me, but what was well came to me from Thee, my God. For
they were regardless how I should employ what they forced me to learn,
except to satiate the insatiate desires of a wealthy beggary, and
a shameful glory. But Thou, by whom the very hairs of our head are
numbered, didst use for my good the error of all who urged me to learn;
and my own, who would not learn, Thou didst use for my punishment--
a fit penalty for one, so small a boy and so great a sinner. So by
those who did not well, Thou didst well for me; and by my own sin
Thou didst justly punish me. For Thou hast commanded, and so it is,
that every inordinate affection should be its own punishment.

I beseech Thee, my God, I would fain know, if so Thou willest,
for what purpose my baptism was then deferred? was it for my good
that the rein was laid loose, as it were, upon me, for me to sin?
or was it not laid loose? If not, why does it still echo in our ears
on all sides, "Let him alone, let him do as he will, for he is not
yet baptised?" but as to bodily health, no one says, "Let him be worse
wounded, for he is not yet healed." How much better then, had I been
at once healed; and then, by my friends' and my own, my soul's recovered
health had been kept safe in Thy keeping who gavest it. Better truly.
But how many and great waves of temptation seemed to hang over me
after my boyhood! These my mother foresaw; and preferred to expose
to them the clay whence I might afterwards be moulded, than the very
cast, when made.

As a boy, then, I had already heard of an eternal life, promised
us through the humility of the Lord our God stooping to our pride;
and even from the womb of my mother, who greatly hoped in Thee, I
was sealed with the mark of His cross and salted with His salt. Thou
sawest, Lord, how while yet a boy, being seized on a time with sudden
oppression of the stomach, and like near to death- Thou sawest, my
God (for Thou wert my keeper), with what eagerness and what faith
I sought, from the pious care of my mother and Thy Church, the mother
of us all, the baptism of Thy Christ, my God and Lord. Whereupon the
mother my flesh, being much troubled (since, with a heart pure in
Thy faith, she even more lovingly travailed in birth of my salvation),
would in eager haste have provided for my consecration and cleansing
by the health-giving sacraments, confessing Thee, Lord Jesus, for
the remission of sins, unless I had suddenly recovered. And so, as
if I must needs be again polluted should I live, my cleansing was
deferred, because the defilements of sin would, after that washing,
bring greater and more perilous guilt. I then already believed: and
my mother, and the whole household, except my father: yet did not
he prevail over the power of my mother's piety in me, that as he did
not yet believe, so neither should I. For it was her earnest care
that Thou my God, rather than he, shouldest be my father; and in this
Thou didst aid her to prevail over her husband, whom she, the better,
obeyed, therein also obeying Thee, who hast so commanded.