Man that is born of a woman is of few days and full of trouble.
JOB: 14:1

Pascal

Faites. mon Dieu, que dans une uniformité toujours égale je reçoive toute sorte d'événements, puisque nous ne savons ce que nous devons demander. "Bring it to pass, my God, that I accept every sort of occurrence in an ever level peace of spirit, since we do not know what it is that we should ask for."

La maladie principale de l'homme est la curiosité inquiète des choses qu'il ne peut savoir; et il ne lui est pas si mauvais d'être dans l'erreur, que dans cette curiosité inutile. "What ails men primarily is a giddy curiosity about things that they cannot possibly know; they are not even harmed so much by being in error as by being in this state of useless curiosity."

Il faut qu'on n'en puisse dire, ni: "Il est mathématicien", ni "prédicateur", ni "éloquent", mais "il est honnête homme". Cette qualité universelle me plaît seule. "One really ought to be able to say of a man, not 'There goes a mathematician'--or 'preacher' or 'eloquent speaker'--but 'There's an honest man.' This universal quality alone is what appeals to me."

La science des choses extérieures ne me consolera pas de l'ignorance de la morale, au temps d'affliction; mais la science des moeurs me consolera toujours de l'ignorance des sciences extérieures. "Knowledge of external things will not console me over my ignorance of moral facts in times of affliction, but knowledge of the moral way will always console me over my ignorance of the external sciences."

Car enfin, qu'est-ce que l'homme dans la nature? Un néant à l'égard de l'infini, un tout à l'égard du néant, un milieu entre rien et tout. Infiniment éloigné de comprendre les extrêmes, la fin des choses et leur principe sont pour lui invinciblement cachés dans un secret impénétrable, également incapable de voir le néant d'où il est tiré, et l'infini où il est englouti.


ENGRIIISHHH at least some of it
"For at last, what is man in his natural state? A void with regard to infinity, a totality with regard to the void, a midway between nothing and everything. Infinitely far from understanding the extremes, the end of things and their beginning are for him invincibly hidden in an impenetrable secret. He is equally incapable of seeing the void from which he has been lifted and the infinite in which he is enveloped."

To THEE the Champion leader O conqueror of Death Glorious GOD! We give thanks and praise O lion of Judah King of kings. YOU will wipe out all your enemies, all the mockers, all the dogs. The grave could not contain your Majesty you are the great Potentate of all worlds, all time, and all things. You are the great I AM, La Raison d'être. JESUS SON of GOD!

We glorify your name! we worship you! Jesus there is none like you!

Now this is Funny!


I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do? '

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

Her parents beamed.

'Wow...what a worthy goal', I told her. 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party'.

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

Author unknown

Romains 1:18-21

18La colère de Dieu se révèle du ciel contre toute impiété et toute injustice des hommes qui retiennent injustement la vérité captive,

19car ce qu'on peut connaître de Dieu est manifeste pour eux, Dieu le leur ayant fait connaître.

20En effet, les perfections invisibles de Dieu, sa puissance éternelle et sa divinité, se voient comme à l'oeil, depuis la création du monde, quand on les considère dans ses ouvrages. Ils sont donc inexcusables,

21puisque ayant connu Dieu, ils ne l'ont point glorifié comme Dieu, et ne lui ont point rendu grâces; mais ils se sont égarés dans leurs pensées, et leur coeur sans intelligence a été plongé dans les ténèbres.

The One Hundred Forty Sixth Psalm
Lauda, anima mea.

PRAISE the LORD, O my soul: while I live, will I praise the LORD; * yea, as long as I have any being, I will sing praises unto my God.

O put not your trust in princes, nor in any child of man; * for there is no help in them.

For when the breath of man goeth forth, he shall turn again to his earth, * and then all his thoughts perish.

Blessed is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, * and whose hope is in the LORD his God:

Who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that therein is; * who keepeth his promise for ever;

Who helpeth them to right that suffer wrong; * who feedeth the hungry.

The LORD looseth men out of prison; * the LORD giveth sight to the blind.

The LORD helpeth them that are fallen; * the LORD careth for the righteous.

The LORD careth for the strangers; he defendeth the fatherless and widow: * as for the way of the ungodly, he turneth it upside down.

The LORD thy God, O Sion, shall be King for ever-more, * and throughout all generations.

"And even if we did have only Christians in our midst, if we expelled every non-Christian from the United States of America, whose Christianity would we teach in the schools? Would we go with James Dobson's, or Al Sharpton's? Which passages of Scripture should guide our public policy? Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is ok and that eating shellfish is abomination? How about Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount - a passage that is so radical that it's doubtful that our own Defense Department would survive its application? So before we get carried away, let's read our bibles. Folks haven't been reading their bibles." [cut and paste from the published text of Obama's speech]

An Akathist in Praise of God's Creation
Metropolitan Tryphon (Turkestanov)





Kontakion 1

Incorruptible Lord, your right hand controls the whole course of human life, according to the decrees of your Providence for our salvation.

We give you thanks for all your blessings, known and unknown:
for our earthly life and for the heavenly joys of your kingdom which is to come.
Henceforth extend your mercies towards us as we sing:
Glory to you, O God, from age to age!

Ikos 1

I was born a weak, defenceless child, but your angel, spreading his radiant wings, guarded my cradle. From my birth, your love has illumined my paths, and has wondrously guided me towards the light of eternity. From my first day until now, the generous gifts of your providence have been wonderfully showered upon me. I give you thanks, and with all those who have come to know you, I exclaim:

Glory to you for calling me into being.
Glory to you for spreading out before me the beauty of the universe,
Glory to you for revealing to me through heaven and earth the eternal book of wisdom,
Glory to your eternity within this fleeting world,
Glory to you for your mercies, seen and unseen,
Glory to you for every sigh of my sorrow,
Glory to you for every step in my life’s journey, for every moment of joy,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 2

O Lord, how lovely it is to be your guest:
Breeze full of scent; mountains reaching to the skies;
Waters like a boundless mirror,
Reflecting the sun’s golden rays and the scudding clouds.
All nature murmurs mysteriously, breathing depths of tenderness,
Birds and beasts bear the imprint of your love,
Blessed are you, mother earth, in your fleeting loveliness,
Which wakens our yearning for happiness that will last for ever
In the land where, amid beauty that grows not old,
Rings out the cry: Alleluia!

Ikos 2

You brought me into this life as into an enchanted paradise. We have seen the sky, like a deep blue cup ringing with birds in the azure heights. We have listened to the soothing murmur of the forest and the sweet-sounding music of the waters. We have tasted fragrant fruit of fine flavour and sweet-scented honey. How pleasant is our stay with you on earth: it is a joy to be your guest.

Glory to you for the feast-day of life.
Glory to you for the perfume of lilies and roses,
Glory to you for each different taste of berry and fruit,
Glory to you for the sparkling silver of early morning dew,
Glory to you for each smiling, peaceful awakening,
Glory to you for eternal life in us, a messenger of heaven,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 3

In the strength of the Holy Spirit each flower gives out its scent - sweet perfume, delicate colour, beauty of the whole universe revealed in the tiniest thing. Glory and honour to God the Giver of life, who covers the fields with their carpet of flowers, crowns the plains with harvest of gold and the blue of corn-flowers, and our souls with the joy of contemplating him. O be joyful and sing to him: Alleluia!

Ikos 3

How glorious you are in the triumph of spring, when every creature awakes to new life and joyfully sings your praises with a thousand tongues: you are the source of life, the conqueror of death. By the light of the moon nightingales sing: the plains and the woods put on their wedding garment, white as snow. All the earth is your promised bride awaiting her bridegroom who does not know decay. If the grass of the field is clothed like this, how gloriously shall we be transfigured in the coming age of the resurrection: how radiant our bodies, how resplendent our souls!

Glory to you, bringing from the darkness of the earth an endless variety of colours, tastes and scents,
Glory to you for the warmth and tenderness of the world of nature,
Glory to you for surrounding us with thousands of your works,
Glory to you for the depth of your wisdom: the whole world is a living sign of it,
Glory to you: on my knees, I kiss the traces of your unseen hand,
Glory to you for setting before us the dazzling light of eternal life,
Glory to you for the hope of the unutterable, imperishable beauty of immortality,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 4

How filled with sweetness are those whose thoughts dwell on you: how life-giving your holy Word; to speak with you is more soothing than anointing with oil, sweeter than the honeycomb. Praying to you refreshes us and gives us wings: our hearts overflow with warmth; a majesty filled with wisdom permeates nature and all of life! Where you are not, there is only emptiness. Where you are, the soul is filled with abundance, and its song resounds like a torrent of life: Alleluia!

Ikos 4

When over the earth the light of the setting sun fades away, when the peace of eternal sleep, and the quiet of the declining day reign over all, I see your dwelling-place like tents filled with light, reflected in the shapes of the clouds at dusk: fiery and purple, gold and blue, they speak prophet-like of the ineffable beauty of your heavenly court, and solemnly call: let us go to the Father!

Glory to you in the quiet hour of evening,
Glory to you, covering the world with deep peace,
Glory to you for the last ray of the setting sun,
Glory to you for the rest of blissful sleep,
Glory to you for your mercy in the midst of darkness, when the whole world has parted company with us,
Glory to you for the tender emotion of a soul moved to prayer,
Glory to you for the pledge of our awakening on the day which has no evening,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 5

The storms of life do not frighten those whose hearts are ablaze with the light of your flame. Outside is the darkness of the whirlwind, the terror and howling of the storm. But in their souls reign quiet and light. Christ is there, and the heart sings: Alleluia!

Ikos 5

I see your heaven glowing with stars. How rich you are, how much light is yours! Eternity watches me by the rays of the distant stars: I am small, insignificant, but the Lord is with me, his loving hand protects me wherever I go.

Glory to you for the trouble you take for me at all times,
Glory for the people your Providence gave me to meet,
Glory to you for the love of my dear ones, the faithfulness of friends,
Glory to you for the gentleness of the animals which serve me,
Glory to you for the light-filled moments of life,
Glory to you for the radiant joy in my heart,
Glory to you for the joy of living, moving and seeing,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 6

How great and how close you are in the powerful track of the storm; how mighty your right arm in the blinding flash of the lightning; how awesome is your greatness! The voice of the Lord is over the fields and amid the rustling forests, the voice of the Lord is in the birth of thunder and of rain, the voice of the Lord is over the many waters. Praise to you in the roar of mountains ablaze. You shake the earth like a garment. You pile up to the sky the waves of the sea. Praise to you, bringing low the pride of man, bring from his heart the cry of repentance: Alleluia!

Ikos 6

When the lightening flash has lit up the feasting-hall, how feeble seems the light of the lamps. Likewise, amidst the strongest joys of my existence, you suddenly flashed in my soul. After your blinding light, how drab, dull and unreal seemed all those joys! Passionately, my soul would run after you.

Glory to you, the Goal in whom mankind’s highest dreams come true,
Glory to you, for our unquenchable thirst for communion with god,
Glory to you, making us dissatisfied with earthly things,
Glory to you, clothing us with the finest rays of your light,
Glory to you, destroying the power of the spirits of darkness, dooming all evil to destruction,
Glory to you for the joy of hearing your voice, for the happiness of your presence and of living in your love,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 7

In the wondrous blending of sounds it is your call we hear. In the harmony of many voices, stirred by the musical tones, dazzled by art’s creativeness, we learn from you the splendour of melody and song, and receive a foretaste of the coming kingdom. All true beauty draws the soul towards you in powerful invocation, and makes it sing triumphantly: Alleluia!

Ikos 7

The outpouring of the Holy Spirit enlightens the thoughts of artists, poets, and scientists. Their great minds receive from you prophetic insights into your laws, and reveal to us the depth of your creative wisdom. Unwittingly, their works speak of you; how great you are in all you have created, how great you are in man!

Glory to you, showing your unfathomable might in the laws of the universe!
Glory to you, for all nature is permeated by your laws,
Glory to you for what you have revealed to us in your goodness,
Glory to you for all that remains hidden from us in your wisdom,
Glory to you for the inventiveness of the human mind,
Glory to you for the invigorating effort of work,
Glory to you for the tongues of fire which bring inspiration,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 8

How near you are in the days of sickness; you yourself visit the sick; you bend over the sufferer’s bed: his heart speaks to you. With your peace you enlighten the soul burdened with affliction and pain: you send unexpected help. You comfort, you are Love, brining trial and salvation, and to you we sing the hymn: Alleluia!

Ikos 8

When in childhood I called upon you consciously for the first time, you heard my prayer and sacred peace came down into my soul. Then I understood that you are good; blessed are those who turn to you. Unceasingly, I started to call upon you, and now I call upon your Name:

Glory to you, satisfying my desires with good things,
Glory to you, watching over me day and night,
Glory to you, calming tribulations and bereavement with the healing flow of time,
Glory to you, no loss is irreparable when you are there, to all you give eternal life,
Glory to you, making immortal all that is lofty and good, promising to welcome the dead,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 9

Why is it that on a feastday the whole of nature mysteriously smiles? Why does a marvelous lightness then fill our hearts, to which nothing earthly can be compared? The very air in the altar and in God’s house becomes luminous. It is the breath of grace, the reflection of the glory of Mount Tabor; heaven and earth then sing this praise: Alleluia!

Ikos 9

When you inspire me to serve my neighbor, and make humility shine in my soul, one of your deep-piercing rays of light falls into my heart: it then becomes glowing, like iron in the furnace. I have seen your Face, mysterious and elusive.

Glory to you, transfiguring our lives with deeds of love,
Glory to you, making wonderfully sweet each one of your commandments,
Glory to you, clearly present in fragrant compassion,
Glory to you, sending us failures and afflictions to make us sensitive to other people’s sufferings,
Glory to you, promising high rewards for precious good deeds,
Glory to you, welcoming the impulse of our heart’s love,
Glory to you, for raising love above everything on earth or in heaven,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 10

No one can put together what has crumbled into dust, but you can heal men whose conscience has become twisted; you give the soul its former beauty, which long ago it had lost without a hope of change. With you, nothing is hopeless. You are Love. You are the creator and the redeemer of all things. We praise you with this song: Alleluia!

Ikos 10

My God, you know the fall of proud Lucifer. Save me through the power of your grace; do not allow me to fall away from you, do not allow me to doubt you. Sharpen my ear, that at every minute of my life I may hear your mysterious voice; and I call upon you, who are everywhere present.

Glory to you for providential circumstances,
Glory to you for helpful forebodings,
Glory to you for the teaching of your secret voice,
Glory to you, for revelations you give us in dreams or awake,
Glory to you for scattering our vain imaginations,
Glory to you, freeing us from the fire of passions through suffering,
Glory to you, who for our salvation, brings down proudness of heart,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 11

Beyond the icy sequence of the ages, I feel the warmth of your divine Breath, I hear the throbbing of your blood. You are already near: part of time has already gone by. I see your Cross: it is there for my sake. My spirit is but dust before your Cross: here is the triumph of love and redemption, here throughout the ages unceasingly rises the praise: Alleluia!

Ikos 11

Blessed is he who will share your mystical supper in your kingdom; but even here on earth you have granted me this blessedness. How many times, with your divine hand, you offered me your Body and your Blood; while I, a great sinner, received these sacred Gifts and felt your ineffable and supernatural love.

Glory to you for the inconceivable and life-giving power of grace,
Glory to you who established your Church as a haven of peace for a tormented world,
Glory to you for giving us new birth in the life-giving waters of baptism,
Glory to you, restoring to those who repent purity white as the unstained lily,
Glory to you, unfathomable abyss of forgiveness,
Glory to you for the cup of life, for the bread of eternal joy,
Glory to you who raise us to heaven,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 12

More than once have I seen the reflection of your glory in the faces of the dead. What beauty, what heavenly joy shown in them! How light their features, now made spiritual! This was the triumph of happiness and peace found once again; in their silence they were calling on you. At the hour of my death, illumine also my soul which calls to you: Alleluia!

Ikos 12

How poor is my praise before you! I have not heard the song of the Cherubim, a joy reserved to the souls on high, but I know the praises nature sings to you. In winter, I see how in the moonlit silence the whole earth offers you prayer, wrapped in its white mantle of snow, sparking like diamonds. I see the rising sun rejoice in you, and I hear the chorus of birds raise a hymn of glory. I hear the forest mysteriously rustling in your honour, the winds sing of your, the waters murmur and the processions of stars proclaim you as they move in harmony for ever in the depths of infinite space. What is my poor worship? All nature obeys you, I do not; yet while I live, I see your love. I long to thank you, pray to you and call upon your Name.

Glory to you, who has shown us the light,
Glory to you, who loved us with a deep unfathomable and divine love,
Glory to you, who blesses us with the light, with a host of angels and saints,
Glory to you, Father most holy, revealing us your kingdom in your commandments,
Glory to you, Holy Spirit, life-giving Sun of the world to come,
Glory to you for all things, divine and most merciful Trinity,
Glory to you, O God, from age to age.

Kontakion 13

Life-giving and most merciful Trinity, receive our thanksgiving for all your kindnesses; make us worthy of your blessings, so that, when we have brought a profit from the talents you have entrusted to us, we may enter into the eternal joy of our Lord, singing the triumphal hymn: Alleluia!

Copyright: 1934

Source: SYNDESMOS Orthodoxy and Ecology Resource Book

THEOSIS* - DEIFICATION AS THE PURPOSE OF MAN'S LIFE

By Archimandrite George
Abbott of the Holy Monastery of St. Gregorios on Mount Athos



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


DEIFICATION AS THE PURPOSE OF MAN'S LIFE
The issue of the destiny of our lives is very serious, because it concerns the most important question for man: the purpose for which we are placed on earth. If man takes a correct stance on this subject, if he finds his actual destiny, he can then take also a correct stance regarding particular questions, and those that arise in his daily life, such as his relationships with other people, his studies, profession, marriage and the bearing and upbringing of children. However, if he does not take the correct stance on this basic issue, then he will also fail in his particular goals. Because what meaning can particular goals have, if human life as a whole has no meaning?

The purpose of our life is declared already by the first chapter of the Holy Bible, when the holy author tells us that God created man ‘in His image and likeness’. We thus ascertain the great love that the Triune God has for man: He does not wish him simply to be a being with certain gifts, certain qualities, a certain superiority over the rest of creation, but He wishes him to be a god by Grace.

Externally, man seems to be just a biological being, like other living beings, the animals. Of course, he is an animal, but ‘an animal ... which can be deified through its inclination towards God’, as St. Gregory the Theologian characteristically says (Homily on the Epiphany MPG 36, 324, 13). He is the only being that stands apart from all creation; the only one which can become a god.

‘In His image’ refers to the gifts which God gave only to man, alone among all His creatures, so that he constitutes an image of God. These gifts are: a rational mind (gr. nous), conscience, and self-authority, in other words freedom, creativity, eros, and the yearning for the absolute and for God, personal self-awareness, and anything else which puts man above all other living beings in creation, and makes him a man and a personality. In other words, everything that makes man a person. These are the gifts of the ‘in His image’.

Having been formed ‘in His image’, man is called upon to be acquire the ‘in His likeness’, in other words, deification (gr. theosis). The Creator, God by nature, calls man to become a god by Grace.

The gifts of ‘in His image’ were given to man by God so that that he may ascend very high; so that through them he may attain a likeness to his God and Creator; so that he may have not an external, moral relationship, but a personal union with his Creator.

Perhaps it is very daring for us even to say or think that our purpose in life is to become gods by Grace. However, neither the Holy Bible nor the Church Fathers have hidden this from us.

Unfortunately, there exists ignorance in people outside the Church, but also in many within the Church, because they assume that the purpose of our life is, at best, simply moral improvement, to become better men, whereas this is not what is given to us by the Gospel, by the Tradition of the Church, and by the holy Fathers: that man should only improve, become more moral, more just, more self-controlled, more mindful. All these must be done, but they are not the great purpose, the final purpose for which our Maker and Creator formed man. What is this purpose? Deification (gr. theosis) – for man to be united with God, not in an external or a sentimental way, but ontologically, really.

This is how high Orthodox anthropology places humanity. If we compare the anthropologies of all the philosophies, social and psychological systems with Orthodox anthropology, we will ascertain very easily how poor these are; how they fail to respond to man’s great yearning for something very great and true in his life.

Since man is ‘called to be a god’, i.e. he was created to become a god, as long as he does not find himself on the path of deification (gr. theosis) he feels an emptiness within himself; that something is not going right; he feels no joy, even when he is trying to cover the emptiness with other activities. He may numb himself, create a fancy world, but at the same time poor, small and limited, and cage and imprison himself inside it. He may organise his life in such a way that he is never quiet, alone with himself. He can try, through noises, tension, television, radio, continuous information about this and that, as if with drugs, to forget, to not think, not worry, not remember that he is not on the right path, that he has strayed from his purpose.

In the end, however, the wretched, contemporary man finds no rest until he finds that ‘something else’, the greatest thing that actually exists in his life, the truly beautiful and creative.

Can man unite with God? Can he commune with Him? Can he become a god by Grace?

For all of you Obama supporters in the Christian community, look at who thinks highly of him by following this link.
http://www.naral.org/

Now that you have seen this explain to me how you plan on reconciling what you master thought you.

I am convinced that God will appoint whomever he wishes but it doesn't mean that he will always appoint a man that fears him.

so lets chew on this together and tell me what you think.

The sabbatical is over! i feel like not blogging for so long has turned my brain into mush.
The maelstrom of information that i daily acquire about various things in life, is driving me crazy. So here is the deal i can sit on my derrière and ponder these things all by myself or i can unload on you. I like the second option better.

Another thing i want to do is write in French occasionally for our francophone friends who probably feel left out by now, but no worries, you (English/Texan speaking peeps) will get more material.

Hear, Lord, my prayer; let not my soul faint under Thy discipline,
nor let me faint in confessing unto Thee all Thy mercies, whereby
Thou hast drawn me out of all my most evil ways, that Thou mightest
become a delight to me above all the allurements which I once pursued;
that I may most entirely love Thee, and clasp Thy hand with all my
affections, and Thou mayest yet rescue me from every temptation, even
unto the end. For lo, O Lord, my King and my God, for Thy service
be whatever useful thing my childhood learned; for Thy service, that
I speak, write, read, reckon. For Thou didst grant me Thy discipline,
while I was learning vanities; and my sin of delighting in those vanities
Thou hast forgiven. In them, indeed, I learnt many a useful word,
but these may as well be learned in things not vain; and that is the
safe path for the steps of youth.


But woe is thee, thou torrent of human custom! Who shall stand
against thee? how long shalt thou not be dried up? how long roll the
sons of Eve into that huge and hideous ocean, which even they scarcely
overpass who climb the cross? Did not I read in thee of Jove the thunderer
and the adulterer? both, doubtless, he could not be; but so the feigned
thunder might countenance and pander to real adultery. And now which
of our gowned masters lends a sober ear to one who from their own
school cries out, "These were Homer's fictions, transferring things
human to the gods; would he had brought down things divine to us!"
Yet more truly had he said, "These are indeed his fictions; but attributing
a divine nature to wicked men, that crimes might be no longer crimes,
and whoso commits them might seem to imitate not abandoned men, but
the celestial gods."

And yet, thou hellish torrent, into thee are cast the sons of
men with rich rewards, for compassing such learning; and a great solemnity
is made of it, when this is going on in the forum, within sight of
laws appointing a salary beside the scholar's payments; and thou lashest
thy rocks and roarest, "Hence words are learnt; hence eloquence; most
necessary to gain your ends, or maintain opinions." As if we should
have never known such words as "golden shower," "lap," "beguile,"
"temples of the heavens," or others in that passage, unless Terence
had brought a lewd youth upon the stage, setting up Jupiter as his
example of seduction. -
"Viewing a picture, where the tale was drawn,
Of Jove's descending in a golden shower
To Danae's lap a woman to beguile."
And then mark how he excites himself to lust as by celestial
authority: -
"And what God? Great Jove,
Who shakes heaven's highest temples with his thunder,
And I, poor mortal man, not do the same!
I did it, and with all my heart I did it."
- Not one whit more easily are the words learnt for all this vileness;
but by their means the vileness is committed with less shame. Not
that I blame the words, being, as it were, choice and precious vessels;
but that wine of error which is drunk to us in them by intoxicated
teachers; and if we, too, drink not, we are beaten, and have no sober
judge to whom we may appeal. Yet, O my God (in whose presence I now
without hurt may remember this), all this unhappily I learnt willingly
with great delight, and for this was pronounced a hopeful boy.

But why did I so much hate the Greek, which I studied as a boy?
I do not yet fully know. For the Latin I loved; not what my first
masters, but what the so-called grammarians taught me. For those first
lessons, reading, writing and arithmetic, I thought as great a burden
and penalty as any Greek. And yet whence was this too, but from the
sin and vanity of this life, because I was flesh, and a breath that
passeth away and cometh not again? For those first lessons were better
certainly, because more certain; by them I obtained, and still retain,
the power of reading what I find written, and myself writing what
I will; whereas in the others, I was forced to learn the wanderings
of one Aeneas, forgetful of my own, and to weep for dead Dido, because
she killed herself for love; the while, with dry eyes, I endured my
miserable self dying among these things, far from Thee, O God my life.

In boyhood itself, however (so much less dreaded for me than
youth), I loved not study, and hated to be forced to it. Yet I was
forced; and this was well done towards me, but I did not well; for,
unless forced, I had not learnt. But no one doth well against his
will, even though what he doth, be well. Yet neither did they well
who forced me, but what was well came to me from Thee, my God. For
they were regardless how I should employ what they forced me to learn,
except to satiate the insatiate desires of a wealthy beggary, and
a shameful glory. But Thou, by whom the very hairs of our head are
numbered, didst use for my good the error of all who urged me to learn;
and my own, who would not learn, Thou didst use for my punishment--
a fit penalty for one, so small a boy and so great a sinner. So by
those who did not well, Thou didst well for me; and by my own sin
Thou didst justly punish me. For Thou hast commanded, and so it is,
that every inordinate affection should be its own punishment.

I beseech Thee, my God, I would fain know, if so Thou willest,
for what purpose my baptism was then deferred? was it for my good
that the rein was laid loose, as it were, upon me, for me to sin?
or was it not laid loose? If not, why does it still echo in our ears
on all sides, "Let him alone, let him do as he will, for he is not
yet baptised?" but as to bodily health, no one says, "Let him be worse
wounded, for he is not yet healed." How much better then, had I been
at once healed; and then, by my friends' and my own, my soul's recovered
health had been kept safe in Thy keeping who gavest it. Better truly.
But how many and great waves of temptation seemed to hang over me
after my boyhood! These my mother foresaw; and preferred to expose
to them the clay whence I might afterwards be moulded, than the very
cast, when made.

As a boy, then, I had already heard of an eternal life, promised
us through the humility of the Lord our God stooping to our pride;
and even from the womb of my mother, who greatly hoped in Thee, I
was sealed with the mark of His cross and salted with His salt. Thou
sawest, Lord, how while yet a boy, being seized on a time with sudden
oppression of the stomach, and like near to death- Thou sawest, my
God (for Thou wert my keeper), with what eagerness and what faith
I sought, from the pious care of my mother and Thy Church, the mother
of us all, the baptism of Thy Christ, my God and Lord. Whereupon the
mother my flesh, being much troubled (since, with a heart pure in
Thy faith, she even more lovingly travailed in birth of my salvation),
would in eager haste have provided for my consecration and cleansing
by the health-giving sacraments, confessing Thee, Lord Jesus, for
the remission of sins, unless I had suddenly recovered. And so, as
if I must needs be again polluted should I live, my cleansing was
deferred, because the defilements of sin would, after that washing,
bring greater and more perilous guilt. I then already believed: and
my mother, and the whole household, except my father: yet did not
he prevail over the power of my mother's piety in me, that as he did
not yet believe, so neither should I. For it was her earnest care
that Thou my God, rather than he, shouldest be my father; and in this
Thou didst aid her to prevail over her husband, whom she, the better,
obeyed, therein also obeying Thee, who hast so commanded.

And yet, I sinned herein, O Lord God, the Creator and Disposer
of all things in nature, of sin the Disposer only, O Lord my God,
I sinned in transgressing the commands of my parents and those of
my masters. For what they, with whatever motive, would have me learn,
I might afterwards have put to good use. For I disobeyed, not from
a better choice, but from love of play, loving the pride of victory
in my contests, and to have my ears tickled with lying fables, that
they might itch the more; the same curiosity flashing from my eyes
more and more, for the shows and games of my elders. Yet those who
give these shows are in such esteem, that almost all wish the same
for their children, and yet are very willing that they should be beaten,
if those very games detain them from the studies, whereby they would
have them attain to be the givers of them. Look with pity, Lord, on
these things, and deliver us who call upon Thee now; deliver those
too who call not on Thee yet, that they may call on Thee, and Thou
mayest deliver them.

Is there, Lord, any of soul so great, and cleaving to Thee with
so intense affection (for a sort of stupidity will in a way do it);
but is there any one who, from cleaving devoutly to Thee, is endued
with so great a spirit, that he can think as lightly of the racks
and hooks and other torments (against which, throughout all lands,
men call on Thee with extreme dread), mocking at those by whom they
are feared most bitterly, as our parents mocked the torments which
we suffered in boyhood from our masters? For we feared not our torments
less; nor prayed we less to Thee to escape them. And yet we sinned,
in writing or reading or studying less than was exacted of us. For
we wanted not, O Lord, memory or capacity, whereof Thy will gave enough
for our age; but our sole delight was play; and for this we were punished
by those who yet themselves were doing the like. But elder folks'
idleness is called "business"; that of boys, being really the same,
is punished by those elders; and none commiserates either boys or
men. For will any of sound discretion approve of my being beaten as
a boy, because, by playing a ball, I made less progress in studies
which I was to learn, only that, as a man, I might play more unbeseemingly?
and what else did he who beat me? who, if worsted in some trifling
discussion with his fellow-tutor, was more embittered and jealous
than I when beaten at ball by a play-fellow?

O God my God, what miseries and mockeries did I now experience,
when obedience to my teachers was proposed to me, as proper in a boy,
in order that in this world I might prosper, and excel in tongue-science,
which should serve to the "praise of men," and to deceitful riches.
Next I was put to school to get learning, in which I (poor wretch)
knew not what use there was; and yet, if idle in learning, I was beaten.
For this was judged right by our forefathers; and many, passing the
same course before us, framed for us weary paths, through which we
were fain to pass; multiplying toil and grief upon the sons of Adam.
But, Lord, we found that men called upon Thee, and we learnt from
them to think of Thee (according to our powers) as of some great One,
who, though hidden from our senses, couldest hear and help us. For
so I began, as a boy, to pray to Thee, my aid and refuge; and broke
the fetters of my tongue to call on Thee, praying Thee, though small,
yet with no small earnestness, that I might not be beaten at school.
And when Thou heardest me not (not thereby giving me over to folly),
my elders, yea my very parents, who yet wished me no ill, mocked my
stripes, my then great and grievous ill.